


False Idols

by crane_wings



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Road is Not Amused, Road-centric, and now it's blowing up in their face, the Noah made their own artificial apostle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 17:56:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13686822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crane_wings/pseuds/crane_wings
Summary: Secrets and lies and delusions. They form the backbone of the Holy War, not just within the Black Order, but also for the Noah Clan; and Road is trapped in the middle of it all with a Memory that refuses to reveal its knowledge about the connection between Nea and the Millennium Earl. After the massacre thirty-five years ago, all she wants is to keep her family safe and whole. But, it's impossible when the Fourteenth's struggle to awaken sends her Dream Memory into an increasingly manic frenzy, one that will bring an earth-shattering truth to light and tear the Noah Clan apart.After all, the idea of making an Artificial Apostle existed long before the Black Order thought to develop the Second Exorcist Project.





	False Idols

**Author's Note:**

> In which I attempted to fill in some canon plot holes, and somehow ended up with this insane AU instead. Don't worry, it gets crazier because this fic is a prequel to the Nea-centered fic I really want to write. I have the first chapter of that fic finished already, but none of it will make sense until I lay all the foundations down in this one, so stick around if you're interested.
> 
> Heads up, I update erratically. There won't be a posting schedule since I write fanfics to de-stress and adding deadlines takes away a lot of the fun. Plus, I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, so writing really depends on how much time and energy I have to devote towards it.

The difference between false Memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.

\---Salvador Dalí

 

***

 

She experiences the world through flashes of color.

The sable green of her rumpled dress. The royal blue of Joyd’s torn overcoat. The gleaming gold of her sibling’s glare. And blood red. So much red; spattered on Road's face and arms, pooling underneath Joyd’s too still body, dripping from Millennie’s broadsword.

Tears are already spilling down her cheeks as her Memory reacts to the death of a Clan member.

Oh, Joyd. Stupid, brave Joyd who jumped in to take the blow meant for her. Road wants to scream and rage and demand _why why why,_ but she fearfully chokes it all back without making a peep. Now isn’t the time to break down or mourn, not with Nea standing over them, sword handle gripped firmly in his hand despite the tears falling from his own furious eyes. Not when soul-deep terror washes over her as she stares at the candlelight flickering over the bloodied blade.

_Run!_

Road jolts as her Memory shrieks a warning, ducking to the side just in time to avoid another swing of the broadsword, and she doesn’t waste the slim opening, slipping past to escape through one of her gateways. The sword makes impact before the doors completely close, and she recoils from the spray of splinters that cut into her skin, sensing the illusory gateway crack and collapse into itself under the assault. Trembling, her legs give out, and she slumps to the floor of her dreamscape.

 _That’s not how my doors work_ , she thinks frantically. They aren’t solid like real doors. They shouldn’t break and crumple like real wood. Road feels a hysterical laugh bubbling up in her chest.

 _He’s angry_ , Dream whimpers. _He’s angry at us._

“Nea killed Joyd,” Road says out loud, tasting the words though the meaning hasn’t quite sunk in yet. Her eyes stare blankly into the distance as she struggles to comprehend.

 _Nea_ , Dream echoes. _Nea is angry at us._

“Nea…killed Joyd.”

 _Nea is angry at us_ , Dream sobs and Road doesn’t understand.

Shaking fingers brush at the tears streaming down her face. “Who are you crying for?” she asks but her Memory just continues crying wordlessly. “Are you crying because Nea killed Joyd or because Nea is angry?”

_Nea, Nea, Nea, Nea, Nea._

“I don’t understand,” she whispers and her voice breaks.

 

***

 

Joyd is the first Noah of this generation to fall, but he’s far from the last. One by one, her Clansmen are systematically cut down by their wayward brother. Only Bondom is the exception, and only because the Tenth stopped fighting when the Eleventh died. He just stopped and gave in, because to be two sides of the same coin is to be unable to live without the other.

Rage burns in the eyes of the Clan members left, growing exponentially with each death, and they mockingly call Nea the Fourteenth now. The traitor. The kin-slayer.

In contrast, Road simply mourns. She, alone, feels none of the rage; instead, drowning in her Memory’s melancholy.

 _Nea is angry at us_ , Dream whispers each time without fail, and Road still fails to understand.

She still has no idea who Dream cries for.

 

***

 

All things must come to an end, and the nightmare closes its curtains with Millennie standing victorious over Nea’s body.

It doesn’t feel like a victory though. Out of fourteen, just two Noah survive to wait for the next generation, and neither of them are in top form. Millennie is inconsolable and beyond unstable, screaming and pleading for hours at a time for Nea to come back, only to turn around and rage furiously about Nea deserving his end for his betrayal. Road does her best to comfort Millennie during his more lucid moments, but they’re few and far between as she’s having trouble manifesting herself outside of her dreamscape for more than short bursts.

Dream cried over the other Noahs’ deaths, but for Nea’s, it _screams_. Long, agonized shrieks torn from the depths of its very soul, so loud and piercing in her mind that her true body’s ears bleed in response. The Memory screams for months on end, like something precious and irreplaceable had been ripped away from it, never to return; so very similar to Millennie’s heartbroken cries for Nea that Road nearly breaks under the strain of both their mourning.

“Nea,” she whimpers, hands pressed tightly over her ears in a vain attempt to block them out. “Nea…why?”

 

***

 

Decades pass and her world – thrown off-kilter by Nea’s murder spree – begins to right itself when her siblings begin to reawaken. Their fears, that Nea had damaged the other Memories beyond repair, dissipate with each awakening, replaced with overwhelming relief. Both she and Millennie personally greet each new Family member; and for the first time in nearly three decades, Road laughs with true joy at every welcoming celebration.

She tries her best to push aside Dream’s hopeful whispers of Nea’s name and politely ignores the wistful longing that flickers over Millennie’s face when he thinks no one is looking.

 

***

 

Allen Walker is a mystery, and a very intriguing one at that. A human who can see an akuma’s soul. A human who loves akuma and destroys them out of love. It’s so strange and funny.

But what intrigues her the most is the way Dream suddenly goes silent when she takes the exorcists into one of her pocket dimensions. Her memory always has an opinion, always hums at something it likes to see and sneers at something it doesn’t. Dream, however, has never gone silent before, and Road eyes Allen Walker with curiosity.

 _What do you sense_ , she asks Dream and receives no reply. Typical.

Road doesn’t like not knowing – not after Nea’s death and the painful fallout afterwards – and the lack of answers irritates her. So, she laughs cruelly and stabs and plays with lives like they’re nothing more than throwaway toys. It earns her Allen Walker’s ire, a look of betrayed fury, and Road bares her teeth at him in lieu of a smile before retreating. This exorcist is fun and interesting, nothing like the dull, weak ones the Order typically sends out. It would be a shame to kill him so early in the game.

In the dream world, her Memory begins stirring again.

 _I miss Nea_ , Dream sighs. _I want to see him again._

Road tilts her head, considering. “Why?”

She hopes Nea never reincarnates; she doesn’t think she can survive another of his murder sprees without shattering, but Dream is strangely attached to Nea, as is Millennie. But why? Nea is a Noah who shouldn’t have existed. An anomaly.

Dream hisses at her, and Road cuts off her train of thought before her Memory lashes out. “Why?” she softly asks again.

 _I just…want to be by his side again,_ Dream whispers wistfully, seeming to have forgotten its anger from moments before.

Road shudders at the flood of emotions flowing through their connection, tears beginning to prickle at her eyes. “Why? He spent more time fighting against us than trying to be one of us.”

Her Memory hums noncommittally.

Frowning, she asks the question she’s never gotten an answer to, one even the previous generation’s Noah had been unable to answer. “Why is he so important to you? What Memory did he hold?”

The tears finally spill over in time with Dream’s responding sob.

 

***

 

Things come to a head in the crumbling white Ark – their ancestral home, the cradle of all humanity – and Road absently plays with a piece of candy in her hands while Dream mourns the first death. She’s angry, of course she is, but this isn’t her first time losing Wrathra like it is for Tyki. She’s done this before and takes some measure of comfort in knowing that Skinn died fighting their hated enemy and not a vengeful brother.

Allen Walker still lingers in her mind, so she throws herself at him the moment he appears through her doorway, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. A frisson of something crawls up her spine at the intimate contact, and her Memory abruptly silences again; though this time, Road feels a sense of watchful anticipation seeping through their bond.

_What do you sense that I can’t?_

Then Allen Walker pulls an inverted form of Millennie’s sword from his arm and Dream shudders with manic excitement, a wide grin splitting its featureless face from ear to ear.

_What does this mean? Why won’t you tell me?_

Again, Dream ignores her barrage of questions, but Road barely notices because Allen Walker is glaring at them with determined eyes; and for a moment, she flashes back to the past, to Nea standing over her with that same cold look in his eyes while Joyd dies at his feet. _You’re my enemy_ , those eyes say, and her heart nearly stops when Allen’s inverted broadsword slices through Tyki. She freezes in place, a scream lodged in her throat, as she watches Tyki – _Joyd, stupid, brave Joyd_ – fall.

It’s happening again. Her Family is falling one by one; but…this time, there’s no Nea here to complicate things, no wayward sibling to feel torn about. Just a handful of exorcists whom Road _can_ exact her vengeance upon, and red, red rage blinds her.

Road doesn’t realize she’s not crying until Joyd’s Memory fully awakens and begins wreaking havoc within the rapidly diminishing space. Her outward sigh of relief is echoed in her mind.

 

***

 

The story of a boy who loved both humans and akuma should’ve ended there. Allen Walker and his friends should’ve vanished into the nothingness along with the white Ark. But it doesn’t and they don’t. Instead, the Noah are blindsided by the original Ark’s return to full functionality and the sudden reappearance of the Musician’s score in the form of Cross Marian’s apprentice.

Road wonders if that’s why she feels drawn to Allen Walker.

_Nea, why are you haunting us?_

Her Dream giggles in her mind, bright and giddy with breathless suspense, and even Millennie is affected, too. A particular gleam has returned to his eyes after thirty-five long years; grief and madness and longing all mixing together into a relentless obsession.

It’s all Nea seems to have left behind for them.

 

***

 

_“I’ll kill you this time for sure. I’ll kill you, and I, myself, will become the Millennium Earl!”_

Those words reverberate in her mind, sowing confusion in their wake. That is…Nea’s goal? To become the Millennium Earl? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t because Nea fought for Mana’s sake thirty-five years ago, didn’t he? Nea fought for their freedom and discovered that there’s no place in the world for a traitorous Noah to run. What would he gain from taking Millennie’s place? What could he even do without the Memories of Adam to guide him?

The earth trembles around them as the North American Branch explodes, and Road clings to the safety of Millennie’s shoulder.

Something isn’t right.

Something, somewhere, went wrong and Road can’t pinpoint _what_ or _how_.

And in her head, Dream laughs and laughs and laughs, a mad, hysterical sound that stabs painfully through Road’s head. _The artificial Apostle_ , her Memory cackles. _The false Apostle has grown arrogant. He’s forgotten both his place and his purpose_.

Artificial Apostle?

 _“Why do you want to take Allen with you so badly?!”_ One of the humans screams. _“Even if Allen is the Fourteenth Noah, isn’t he your enemy who tried to kill you?!”_

_Yes, why, Millennie? What is it about Nea that captivates both you and Dream?_

_“Because I want to be by his side,”_ Millennie answers wistfully, echoing Dream’s answer months and months ago. _“I want to be by the Fourteenth’s side.”_

Something…really isn’t right here.

 

***

 

The Evil Eye begins cracking around the edges.

“...Not yet. We’re not done yet.”


End file.
